sick days

Today is the second sick day I have taken so far in this job. As I don't get paid days off, I hate to take them, but I am sick and tired of shuffling around miserably all day.

The fact that I am exposed to over 900 children on a weekly basis isn't the worst part--- the worst part is that I am exposed to twice that through Hylton. So it feels like the second one of us finally feels somewhat recovered, we'll wake up the next morning sporting the other person's latest affliction. It is beyond frustrating. I eat oranges, I drink hot lemon vitamin C drinks, I wash my hands, I almost always get a decent if not totally complete night's rest. There doesn't seem to be any escaping.

It kind of felt like I was perpetually sick my first two years of college. Part of that was living with and around a lot of people, and another part was late nights and strange schedules. Then I went to Germany. I didn't seem to get sick much there. My fourth year of college I lived in a two bedroom apartment with my friend Jacky, and though it was a stressful year in terms of getting everything done in order to graduate on time (which was somewhat hampered by having gone abroad for a year), neither of us got sick much. So, say my first two years of college I got about two bad colds a quarter (a quarter, you'll remember, is 10 weeks long). Third year of college (in Germany) I got maybe 3 bad colds the entire year. Though I do remember throwing up a lot... mmhm social drinking. My fourth year of college the cold acquirage went up a bit and the throwing up went way down. Still not bad. My health this year, my first year of "real job," had seemed fairly stable until December. Since the new year alone I have had at least four bad colds. The interesting thing is that all have been started off with a bad fever, which normally induces me into at least some vomiting. I don't remember most colds at home beginning with the please-put-me-out-of-my-misery fever. I don't know what this means, exactly.

One of the most annoying things about having to go to work throughout all of this is that teachers keep telling me to stay home. I don't know how to tell them that since I don't get paid sick days, I can't really afford to. I am pretty sure that would come off to a Japanese person like, well, I care more about making money than not getting other people sick. And that is assuming I could say all of that in Japanese, which, come on people, no one is believing at this point.

The only way I have been able to get through some days is by telling myself I would stay home the next day, and today I finally did. I don't think I am missing anything at my middle school this morning (though I guess I'll see on Monday if thats true), and I was cringing at the thought of the commute to and from my elementary school in the afternoon. It has been SO windy on Fridays the past two months, which makes my 45 minute bike ride home from Naruhama Elementary even more daunting. And because it seems like teachers stay home when they are sick, by me showing up, even obviously sick, it means the presiding teacher doesn't feel obligated to step in when the 60 third graders start shrieking. I could be explaining this better, but basically elementary classes go a lot better the more energetic you are, and today is not my day to be energetic.

Another reason for staying home today is that I want to be well rested and hopefully mostly recovered by Sunday afternoon when my mom arrives!!! I figured that the more well I feel, the better I will be to be around, which should make for a better visit. Mom is getting over a bout of bronchitis, so hopefully she will be feeling reasonably healthy here as well. Because Mom has her own job, she can only stay for about six days, but as there isn't a ton to do around here anyway and she isn't terribly interested in traveling, it turns out okay that I will have to be at work every day.

If you have even read this far you've probably gotten the feeling that I have some guilt issues about staying home from work. I was the same way about this in high school, and even in college, where class attendance wasn't even always mandatory. I am always worried about what I am going to miss (like some ridiculous pop quiz that accounts for 75% of your grade), though I know it is usually just a day like any other. And even if it was a bad day to miss... well, oh well, right? I tell myself things like "your health is the most important thing," even when I eschew that adage all the other days I drag myself, runny nosed and bleary eyed, to work.